Intimacy: the High of all Highs

By Guy Camilleri

The need to connect intimately to another human being is essential to being human. And the use of an authentic expression (body language and words) to define this experience is a fun exercise, even if it pales in comparison with the experience in of itself.

I’ve always been fascinated by the “intimacy of an authentic moment,” and it is the very thing that drives me as a human being and the work I am exploring as a man, lover, friend, actor, acting coach, poet and surfer.

Experiencing intimacy with another human being and labeling it as an authentic moment is a high amongst highs for me.

Each week, I hold space at the Electric Lodge. And, it’s there that I bear witness to pockets of intimacy that are incredibly rewarding. There is a gathering of actors, writers, directors and creatives from all walks of life right here in Venice reveling in the moment and authentically relating to each other in service of their life’s calling.

These pockets are mesmerizing, visceral and life-affirming. And, I would like to imagine they would continue into infinity if not for the interference of the mind. Can you imagine the mind giving way to a moment of intimacy in place of wanting to retreat (to the past) or advance (to the future)? What would life look like, if when in the presence of another human being, experiencing intimacy was the priority?

Alas, that’s not always possible, and sadly it seems, it’s not the reality we live in because a mind is incredibly adept at stealing moments and if I might add, with a touch of glee.

Noticing what you are feeling and the effect it is having on you allows intimacy to drive the moment and use your mind as a tool rather than being used by it. Doing this in the presence of another human being gives way for that person (if willing) to become affected by the experience and engage with you. Intimacy is experienced when two or more individuals are consensually interested in reporting and sharing their truth of an experience as opposed to lying about it.

This exchange of energy is exhilarating and can be sustained until the body/mind experiences fatigue. That’s where sleep, food, exercise and spiritual tools come in to re-energize the body and mind until you start all over again!

Here are nine steps to create an intimate and authentic moment:

1. Notice what is happening around you, in your body and your mind.
2. Feel what you are feeling as a result of inward and outward stimuli.
3. Allow the experience of what you are feeling to wash over you.
4. Notice the sensations in your body, the effect it’s having on you along with the various meanings your mind is making up.
5. Trust the sensations in your body. Your mind may want to shut down this experience because it believes what you are feeling is a threat!
6. Use the body to gesticulate and simultaneously engage your mind with the right words to articulate this experience.
7. Learn how and when to say: “Let’s pause for a moment” if it becomes too overwhelming.
8. Stay with your partner.
9. Then, rinse and repeat as needed!

Guy Camilleri is a Venice-based actor, acting coach and poet. He teaches regular classes on Monday and Wednesday evenings at the Electric Lodge, in Venice. His private coaching specializes in creating characters for film, television and stage, audition preparation, self-taped auditions, original reels and career consultation. To audit, enroll in a class or book a coaching session, go to www.guycamilleri.com. Follow Guy on Instagram @guycamilleri and Facebook.